Respectful Parenting is Not Permissive Parenting

Becky Spooner Toddler – Hampton Cove

The following piece is from Janet Lansbury. I love her stuff and first learning about here when I was going through my Montessori training. I enjoyed reading this article and hope you all will too.

There are two extreme approaches to discipline that do not serve a toddler’s needs. One is overly strict, punitive, and non-empathetic. It involves maintaining control of the household through punitive discipline and other manipulative tactics. The child is perceived as innately “bad” and out-of-control, needing to be taught how to behave through fear and shame. Respect is demanded from children, rather than being something children can be trusted to return to us when they have been treated respectfully from the time they are born.

On the other end of the spectrum are parents who are reticent to engage in conflict and will do almost anything to avoid their child’s disagreement (a type I can personally relate to!). These parents hope boundaries will be accepted by their toddler, so they set limits timidly, softly, perhaps with a wavering tone that asks “is this going to be okay with you?”